Coalesce guitarist Joseph “Jes” Steineger was recently accused of engaging in an inappropriate relationship with one of his students at Lindenwood University in St. Charles, MO. However, according to the band, “nothing resembling sexual misconduct, predation, or assault occurred.”
The alleged victim said the following:
“band referenced is coalesce
I deleted my original post because truthfully it was too long and too emotional. I was getting a lot of backlash because of those things. However, I got a few DMs that were very encouraging. I’ve decided to edit and repost, and I just won’t be obsessively checking this post again to read the comments. This has everything to do with metalcore (for those who said it didn’t) because ignoring harmful people with large influence in the scene creates an environment inside of it that takes away space from women (and men) who are harmed. It’s been months and I am ready to speak for myself.
I don’t care if people think I’m unstable or need therapy. I’m in it! And everything I say has documentation to back it up :). Coalesce knows this and has seen it.
A member of this band taught at my university and was separated from the school after his misconduct toward me. He was my professor and academic advisor for over three years.
During my spring 2025 semester, he began touching me and gave me a personal, non-university email and moved our correspondence there. Over a short period we exchanged over 100 emails, many of them explicitly sexual. In writing, he described me as a sexual object, talked about his urges and past in sexualizing women, talked about my body, admitted he had a pattern of relationships like ours in the past, and called me “ballerina,” talked about my body constantly. He was in charge of my academic future and clearly his feelings were more important than that.
He got me into his office after hours. He put his hands all over me and said the only thing that stopped him going further was that he suddenly remembered I was “a person” and that “the divine” fell into his mind. (In writing :)) This is not the only time that week he touched me. The university legal team used this information on top of the email evidence to part ways with him. All the emails were turned over to the university and to the band later on via my friend. The band knows exactly what he did. Their response has been to block anyone who raises concerns, including me. All I’ve done is occasionally view their stories because I’m terrified he will smear me publicly as my friends have made moves without my consent. I’m not asking for his removal, but it is insane to me to protect such a person.
I know how this will be read by some people: that I’m unstable, dramatic, “obsessed with cancel culture,” that I “wanted it,” that I should “just move on.” I’ve heard all of it. I don’t care. There is nothing you can say that is worse than anything I’ve told myself. I won’t bore anyone with the details of the impact this has had on me. I am not going to go into details about my mental health and what he knew about it, but he knew I was vulnerable. He knew everything about it. I am not pretending I was naïve. I am saying he knew exactly how attached I was, and how much power he had, and he used it anyway.
I’m not posting this because I “hate” the band or because I enjoy drama. I loved their music for years. Genuinely. They were who I listened to during my ballet warm ups, before competitions, etc. I am posting it because I think people deserve to know who they are protecting when they look the other way. I am not asking anyone to go after him or the other members. I don’t want that. I am assuming he has painted me poorly to them and I want to be understanding of their friendships. I don’t know the other members and I don’t have the right to make any claims on their characters, only his. I am asking for something much smaller and, to me, more important:
For groups and fans to stop turning a blind eye to men who prey on the women they are supposed to protect. All we do is expose more women to harm when we allow these men close.
I am terrified to speak up, but I know the only person benefitting from my fear is him. I have never spoken against him until now. That’s all.”
The band then fired back:
“We’re aware of a Reddit post and related comments making accusations toward our guitarist Jes and, by extension, the band.
Earlier this year, Jes informed us that he had engaged in a mutual but inappropriate email exchange with a 24-year-old student at his university. Given the obvious concerns around power dynamics, we asked to review all correspondences and evidence. We went through everything thoroughly. The physical contact that has been referenced publicly consisted of consensual interactions, which included student-initiated “pinky swears” and two non-sexual hugs, after which he did not pursue or encourage any further physical contact. Nothing resembling sexual misconduct, predation, or assault occurred. No sexually explicit images or materials were exchanged or solicited.
Jes has consistently acknowledged fault for initiating private email contact and for not immediately alerting the university, which contributed to his personal resignation from the academy. This matter arose in an academic context, and while Jes is a member of coalesce, no band-related status, access, or influence played any role in what occurred. There was also no quid pro quo conduct in his role as her professor. The documentation shows that the interaction was mutual, that the student’s attraction pre-dated these events, and it ended when Jes withdrew consent to pursue anything inappropriate.
Jes fucked up. He has repeatedly owned his part. But the narrative now being circulated goes far beyond the facts. After reviewing the evidence ourselves, we stand behind Jes and reject these mischaracterizations.”
The student has since responded to their statement as well:
“update: some EVIDENCE is in this in the comments. Scroll down to the comments. The screenshots are posted under the person who has HR experience comment. I’m getting constantly messaged and I am just scared. I wanted to prove I’m not just making this up. They got to make a huge post, I’m allowed to too. I also posted a comment showing inconsistencies in their post.
from earlier: this will be my last post. I’m sorry for everyone i have bothered with this the last 24 hours.
I saw Coalesce posted on Instagram addressing my post. I also saw the comments. I never meant to make everyone so angry at me and I’m sorry. I’m sorry for coming into this group and talking about what happened to me with Jes. I never named him directly in the post. The “two hugs and a pinky promise” stuff is not even accurate. He also didn’t stop his behavior after that office event. No university parts ways with someone over two hugs and a pinky promise. he resigned because legal and hr stepped in. he resigned because there was a mountain of written evidence. Universities don’t invoke their legal team over a pinky promise and a hug. It’s just minimizing me and what happened but I’ve realized speaking up was a mistake. I am not able to stand against a group who has such a long standing fan base or platform. And I’m sorry. I expect more hate under this, i will be deleting this app after i post this. edit I’m weak and came back to obsessively read comments because I’m terrified
I know no one cares. I have gotten death threats and so much hate for just speaking up about what happened to me with this band member. this has really been the final hit in this for me. I am humiliated and feel so stupid for thinking i could have space in my own trauma. i just wanted to come here to talk about what Jes did to me to open discussion about what it feels like for band members to keep these men around and have them in these spaces despite knowing what they did. it took everything in me to speak up. It was never my responsibility to manage my long standing professors feelings and actions towards me.
I don’t know what i expected even. I just wanted to share my story with a band member. I’m sorry”
She later added:
“EDIT AS OF CHRISTMAS EVE 12/24: Sean said this in the comments: “To be clear we’re working on disclosing the entire email chain that happened over the course of 2 days here for full transparency.”
If only two days are disclosed for “full transparency”, I will upload every single email from the entire 4 week span we communicated on that account on this platform. I don’t care how embarrassing. It was not two days. I will not stand for mistruth. I will just drop the files. I don’t look great in every piece. Grooming is MESSY. I don’t care. I have been torn apart for months and this will be nothing new. I’ve faced institutional retaliation, gaslighting, and the loss of someone I trusted. I will also be working to pull the accurate physical event records from the university.
There are major news outlets posting about this without posting my side too. It’s disgusting.
Also: STOP EMAILING ME HATE. Oh my God.”
[via Lambgoat]
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