Vektor’s David DiSanto Responds To His Wife’s Allegations Of Sexual Assault & Physical Abuse

Katy DiSanto, the wife of Vektor’s David DiSanto, recently accused her husband of physical abuse and sexual assault, while also sharing footage that appeared to show David assaulting her, legal documents filed against him, and more. Now, David has issued his own statement claiming “there’s a lot of misinformation going on.”

David said the following in a since deleted post:

“Hey, there’s a lot of misinformation going on. I tried to stay quiet, but there is too much hatred spawning off of everything. I’ve gotta say something but keep things vague. I need everyone to know that sometimes relationships get tricky and people say and do bad things when things turn sour. I never wanted my life to turn into a dumb reality show/Soap Opera, but here it is. It really demeans the music this band has created.

There’s a person who has destroyed this entire band and, (surprise!) it wasn’t me. I honestly feel very embarrassed that I lied for many years trying to save that person, while hurting myself, band mates, friends, and family in the process. All I ask is for all the hatred to stop. That’s all I’ve wanted from the beginning. Please don’t get swallowed up in drama.

Think for yourself, take the best knowledge you’re presented with and make up your own mind. That’s what VEKTOR is all about. Personal BS doesn’t have a place in all this. Be nice to each other. Be fair and ethical. I got stuck in a difficult situation, and one 15 second instant of my personal life was blown up on the internet.

I’m sure a lot of you out there have lived through something similar, maybe to less of an extreme… Not fun for both sides. I’m lucky to have such supportive friends and family. I don’t want to imagine what would’ve happened to someone who didn’t have that kind of support… Anyone who has something bad to say: Go ahead.

I’m sorry for you in the future because it probably means you haven’t been through something like this before. It’s hard, and it will ruin you. I’ve received a lot of hate mail… Please, please, please do not send any hate mail to the other party involved. Don’t even respond to negative comments. Let those people say what they gotta say and let’s be cool to each other. Let’s stop this hatred and move forward.

This personal crap, dirty laundry doesn’t belong online or in metal, especially when dealing with false accusations. For the fans… I’ve been talking with Erik. We’re friends again, and we’ll see what happens.”

He also added the following in the comments:

“I also gotta say I’ve never hurt any human being. I got in a fight in high school, but the guy just split my eyebrow open and I still didn’t throw a punch. I was trying to reason with him. That’s me.”

“Did anyone see the video of every moment that led up to that point? How many people on here know me or Her in real life? Relationships aren’t that simple. People are hurting right now on both sides.”

[via Brooklyn Vegan]

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Vektor’s David DiSanto Accused Of Physically Abusing & Sexually Assaulting His Wife

Katy DiSanto, the wife of Vektor vocalist/guitarist David DiSanto, has accused her husband of physical abuse and sexual assault. She opened up about the horrible situation via social media and has also shared footage that appears to show David assaulting her, legal documents filed against him, and more.

Katy issued the following statement:

“CW. Abuse, addiction,

Hello friends. It’s not hard for me to write this, but it is hard for me to admit its content. I’ve felt like a failure for so long, like a bad feminist hypocrite stubbornly clinging to a sense of misplaced duty instead of paying attention to my own rights and well-being. A few people are aware of how my marriage has been deteriorating, especially over the past two years. For those of that aren’t, here goes.

Let me start by saying I’m sorry. I’m sorry for keeping this from so many of you – I really thought it would get better. I thought I would be a burden if I reached out for help – and I’m still afraid people will be angry that I didn’t tell them sooner. I was so inundated with admiration for the public aspects of my/our life, that I dared not let anyone down by telling the truth. You can only imagine the mental toll it takes when, for 8 years, I was repeatedly abused then gaslit out of my mind, believing him whenever he flew into a rage and told me I needed to keep “our business between us”.

I’m sorry for how I’ve let this situation alienate me from my friends, forced myself to hide things from my family, and sometimes caused my personality to warp and distort into the worst version of myself. I’m sorry for not intervening when I knew he was lying to other people in his life. I’m sorry for putting up walls. I’m sorry to any Vektor fans – I’ve experienced some of my favorite music ruined by harsh truths about fallible people, and now I’m wracked with guilt, feeling like I might be taking something away by speaking out. I’m also sorry David – despite it all, I don’t want his life to be bad. I just want my life to be good. And that can’t happen while I’m keeping these secrets.

There is no perfect way to handle this. I feel it’s best for me to release this information all at once, instead of letting the rumor mill leak and distort the truth. I expect to get blowblack, hate mail, invasive questions no matter what I do (as has every other abused woman who’s come forward in the 21st century) but for now I feel like I’m doing what’s rational.

The thing with abuse is, you don’t see it coming. If you knew someone had the capacity to be awful, the relationship never would’ve started (presumably). Unfortunately, as in my case: narcissists are very good at being flashy and flattering to keep you distracted until it’s too late. Down the road this turns into pervasive manipulation that warps your perception – a spiritual death by a thousand cuts. Some victims never see their way out of it.

But who, me? How could it happen to me? I’m too smart, independent, take-no-shit kinda gal. I’d never let that happen to me, right? But here I am. So now I know. It can happen to anyone.

For those of you I’ve met more recently / don’t know my background: Almost nine years ago, I connected with someone who seemed like a smart, talented, ambitious man (at least by the standards of someone barely into the naive wilderness of their 20s) and seemed eager to make my life wonderful. In the years since, we made monumental accomplishments – there’s no denying that. We planned a future, adopted animals, toured, traveled, bought a house. (Perhaps it was the relentless pace of progress that kept me going in spite of obvious problems.) He bought me gifts and provided material things. It crushes me to say that on a parallel timeline, I’ve watched pre-existing, untreated (or under-treated) mental illness and alcoholism erode his mind and expose the monster hiding inside.

I soldiered on in the worst of times, hoping against hope that he would get better. I’ve been given so many promises that never came true. He sometimes made sincere improvements, all of which were ultimately negated by selfish enablers and his own bad choices. Many, many people have been caught in the same trap as me – only seeing the single glimmer of hope in a briar patch of lies, believing that love can cure all ails and overpower addiction. I still believe sometimes, it can. But not in this case.

The warning signs were there from the beginning, but my optimism and his manipulative love-bombing overshadowed them again and again. I should’ve known when he stole our wedding money and spent it on booze because he’d been fired from his job for showing up hungover too many times (or not showing up at all). I should’ve known from the compulsive and incessant lying. I should’ve known when he strangled me in that San Antonio hotel room until my cries for help prompted another room to call the cops. I should’ve known the handful of times he claimed he was sobering up – until I inevitably found all the empty liquor bottles and beer cans he’d been hiding. I should’ve known from that time I was sexually assaulted in SLC and he locked me in a basement and told me to not talk about it. I should’ve known when he showed preference to other women just to try and make me upset. I should’ve known from the literally thousands of times I
was told that his indiscretions and abuse were my own fault. I should’ve known when he tried to rape me. I should’ve known when he smacked me across the face with his phone. I should’ve known when he slapped me and threw me against the wall because I tried to move his beer. I should’ve known when he picked me up in the air, slammed me on our bed, and hit me over the head as hard as he could with a cushion. I should’ve known when he’d fly into jealous rages, fabricate scenarios, and punish me for things *I never did or said* (things that existed only in his imagination, but had real life consequences). I should’ve known when he punched holes in our bedroom door and later justified it by saying I should calm down, it could’ve been my face. I should’ve known when he locked my dog outside in below-freezing temperatures for over an hour. I should’ve known when he vandalized our house with spray paint and told me to clean it up. I should’ve known when I was standing in the police station at 2am, trembling, filing a report but begging them not to arrest him because I had no money and I’d lose everything if he went to jail again. I should’ve known when he repeatedly abandoned his own dog so he could stay out and get drunk. I should’ve known the dozens of times he put our lives in danger by picking me up from work drunk – and the hundreds of times he’s put other people in danger by driving drunk (sometimes to the point of blacking out) all over town while insisting it’s his right to do so. I should’ve known every time he weaponized other people as tools of abuse – falsely claiming others did or said things in attempts to undermine or humiliate me. I should’ve known every time he left me crushed, crying, alone, confused, then apologized and did it all again.

I should’ve known, but I didn’t – because a person who confuses narcissism with love, slowly conditioned to view abuse as acceptable, isn’t thinking clearly.

I also should’ve known it was a mistake to let myself become financially dependent on him. This, above all, left me trapped far longer than I would’ve been otherwise. After years of equally sharing all household financial burdens, I pushed aside my skepticism when he told me that he could support both of us with the business I helped him start, the staff I helped him acquire, the client base I brought to him, if I quit my paycheck job and fully pursued my apprenticeship. I rationalized it by telling myself I’d done my part in supporting him for so long in all his professional pursuits, so I didn’t feel badly about letting him return the favor. (I was also still somewhat in denial of the severity of my situation) Now, I cringe when I realize how I played right into his trap. Once I did go all-in, instead of being a loving benefactor to a long-time partner, he used it to ramp up his control of me. Whenever I expressed dismay at any of his reckless, illegal, or abusive actions, he would respond by using escalating threats of abandonment to scare and silence me. He knew loss of his income would lead directly to my financial and professional ruin, and reminded me of it frequently.

I’ll always have love for the good version of the person that used to be inside him. But memories can only steel you against pain for so long. During all this, I’m not sure what exactly was the tipping point where I realized I was living as a shadow of myself, acting as my own prison guard. But, something did eventually snap – and for at least the past *year and a half*, I’ve been adrift as a living widow. Realizing the man I married was gone, but still unable to leave my castle – only imagining my life on the other side of the walls while trying to exist in an unstable reality.

During this transitional phase, I became increasingly exhausted by his denials of events and started recording many of our conversations and arguments (with his knowledge) to guard myself against gaslighting and assess what my contributions were to the conflicts (which is how I wound up with the footage attached this post). I’ve also taken advantage of the past year to learn more about my legal options and rights.

Thankfully, I’ve gained more emotional and mental strength in recent months, and I’ve been lucky to know a few amazing people who’ve helped me see up from the depths and/or reconnect with my self-worth (I can never thank you enough for that). I’ve worked very hard to learn how to leave the past behind and now I’m speaking for the present. I’ve stopped begging and started bargaining. We’ve “agreed” to separate multiple times – with him offering to continue temporary financial support in order to be rid of the “burden” of me, as he puts it – but he never actually leaves. He yells, threatens, runs away, disappears, etc but then he wants to pretend everything’s fine the next day. I’ve been living in a Lynchian purgatory, never knowing where he’ll be, what version of himself I’ll be confronted with, when I can let my guard down. Still constantly being assigned blame for all
problems. Despite my efforts to stop enabling his addictions and behavior, the abuse continues whenever he gets an opportunity.

Now that I’ve exposed my private life to an almost pedantic point, the obvious question is: Why am I doing this so suddenly, all at once, now? It’s not an emotional knee jerk, to be sure. It’s been so long coming. I’ve long since cried all my tears and mourned the loss of the future I thought I was building and the person I thought was my best friend. I’m able to stop hiding and share the situation with you all because I’ve had enough, and finally filed a PFA which will grant me temporary protection until an official hearing. A PFA (Protection from Abuse) order can be issued by the Family Courts of Philadelphia in cases where an individual seeks physical and legal protection from an abusive person outside of criminal charges (which I could file, but I’m not). I also have reason to be concerned that some individuals may catch wind of what’s happening and will try to protect David by slandering or disparaging my reputation while I wait for the official hearing, so I feel it’s important for me to take ownership of this publicly.

So, in conclusion: my life has looked shiny on the outside but inside it’s been a living hell. But, the tide is turning, and we will no longer be living together or functioning as a romantically married couple. I’m unsure of his next moves, but I will be in the same house and attending work as normal.

However, my mortgage, my health, my credit are still at risk. My current income won’t even cover my basic expenses for a week, let alone a month or more. It could take several months for any court ordered spousal support to support to kick in, if it’s granted. I know I’m doing what I need to do, but I’m somewhat at a loss of how I will deal with this going forward. If anyone has any input, I’m open to it.

Since you’ve made it this far, I hope I can count on your support as I go through these final stages of a difficult time. Even though I’ve been to therapy, there’s still human connection that’s needed. And, besides my financial and physical status, I have other concerns. I don’t know how to take care of my dog while I work 12 hour days. I don’t know to finish renovations on the house. I don’t know a lot of things.

What I do know is I’m able to move forward. I’m also scared, determined, relieved. I don’t have to keep feeling ashamed for hiding things from people I care about. I can be myself again and pursue rewarding relationships with good people. It’s time to bring back / experience more positivity. I have so much to offer the world, a partner, my friends. I never want to waste another day on some bullshit. I want to get back a simple, normal life. It’s my own fault that I’ve made myself go through this alone for so long, but I hope the road forward won’t be as lonely. I hope to see much more of you soon. Thank you for reading. I love you all very much

______
If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, you have protections. Contact me or google victim advocate services in your state. In PA, contact WAA

If you think you may be suffering alcoholism or mental health issues, please GET HELP”

Women Against Abuse have been helping Katy with the situation and she has filed a Temporary Protection From Abuse Order against David.

View this post on Instagram

CW. #Abuse #addiction Hello friends. It’s not hard for me to write this, but it is hard for me to admit its content. I’ve felt like a failure for so long, like a bad #feminist hypocrite stubbornly clinging to a sense of misplaced duty instead of paying attention to my own rights and well-being. A few people are aware of how my marriage has been deteriorating, especially over the past two years. For those of that aren’t, here goes. Let me start by saying I’m sorry. I’m sorry for keeping this from so many of you – I really thought it would get better. I thought I would be a burden if I reached out for help – and I’m still afraid people will be angry that I didn’t tell them sooner. I was so inundated with admiration for the public aspects of my/our life, that I dared not let anyone down by telling the #truth. You can only imagine the mental toll it takes when, for 8 years, I was repeatedly abused then gaslit out of my mind, believing him whenever he flew into a rage and told me I needed to keep “our business between us”. I’m sorry for how I’ve let this situation alienate me from my friends, forced myself to hide things from my family, and sometimes caused my personality to warp and distort into the worst version of myself. I’m sorry for not intervening when I knew he was lying to other people in his life. I’m sorry for putting up walls. I’m sorry to any Vektor fans – I’ve experienced some of my favorite music ruined by harsh truths about fallible people, and now I’m wracked with guilt, feeling like I might be taking something away by speaking out. I’m also sorry David – despite it all, I don’t want his life to be bad. I just want my life to be good. And that can’t happen while I’m keeping these secrets. There is no perfect way to handle this. I feel it’s best for me to release this information all at once, instead of letting the rumor mill leak and distort the truth. I expect to get blowblack, hate mail, invasive questions no matter what I do (as has every other abused woman who’s come forward in the 21st century) but for now I feel like I’m doing what’s rational. Instagram limits captions, so please check my Facebook page for the rest of this PUBLIC post. **

A post shared by ⚡️𝕂𝕒𝕥𝕪 𝔸.𝔻.⚡️ (@katy_a.d) on

[via MetalSucks]

Erik Nelson, Frank Chin, & Blake Anderson Exit Vektor

Erik Nelson, Frank Chin, and Blake Anderson have all exited Vektor, leaving frontman David DiSanto as the only remaining member. Despite this, DiSanto said that he plans to keep the band going.

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Nelson, Chin, and Anderson said the following:

“Greetings Vektonauts. With sadness we must inform you that we, Blake, Frank, and Erik, are all departing from Vektor effective immediately. It has been a completely incredible 10-ish years that has brought us all around the world and introduced us to so many super generous, passionate, friendly people and produced three albums of which we are extremely proud.

Seeing the reception for Terminal Redux in particular after all of the hard work put into it has been very humbling. Sadly we’ve reached a point where we can’t continue with the working arrangement we have, for a number of reasons that we find unnecessary to discuss publicly. There’s no big story or drama, people and personalities simply change and drift apart and we’ve reached our limit.

The three of us are lifer musicians and will continue to be. You’ll be seeing us in other contexts, other bands, recordings, tours, and more. Our time in Vektor has been a major part of our lives and parting with that will be a serious adjustment, but ultimately we’re excited to see other new ways we can put our ideas to use.

We are -hugely- grateful to everyone that came out to shows, picked up merch, listened to the music, showed us a great time and kept us going. We accomplished more than we ever thought was possible when we joined and we hope you’ll stay tuned for what we do next – you have certainly not seen the last of us.

We don’t know if this means Dave will seek new members and continue Vektor or not, that is for him to decide and announce in his own time.

Given that it’s the holidays and the future of the band is out of our hands, we’d appreciate some space for the time being as we enjoy time with friends and family (please don’t message our personal pages about it, we won’t reply). All the best and we’ll see you down the road.”

DiSanto also commented:

“I apologize to anyone who was concerned about the post from earlier today. Vektor is not stopping. I started writing Vektor songs in 1999 and I’m still writing Vektor songs. As long as I live, Vektor will not die.

I appreciate everything that Blake, Frank, and Erik have done to help this ship take off. I also appreciate all of my band mates before them: Willy, Pablo, Adam, Mike, and Kian.

See you on the road!

–Dave“

Vektor Announce 2016 Tour With Black Fast

Vektor have announced a North American tour with Black Fast. Check out the dates for that below.

FB_IMG_1471402682062

Tour Dates:

11/02 Cleveland, OH – Now That’s Class
11/03 Columbus, OH – Ace Of Cups
11/04 Indianapolis, IN – 5th Quarter
11/05 Chicago, IL – Beat Kitchen
11/06 Kansas City, MO – Riot Room
11/07 Denver, CO – Hi-Dive
11/08 Salt Lake City, UT – Metro
11/09 Boise, ID – Neurolux
11/10 Seattle, WA – Highline
11/11 Vancouver, BC – Astoria
11/12 Portland, OR – Panic Room
11/13 Sacramento, CA – Starlite
11/14 San Francisco, CA – Elbo Room
11/15 Santa Cruz, CA – Catalyst
11/16 Glendale, CA – Complex
11/17 San Diego, CA – Merrow
11/18 Scottsdale, AZ – Pub Rock
11/19 Albuquerque, NM – Sister
11/20 Oklahoma City, OK – Thunder Alley
11/21 St. Louis, MO – Firebird
11/22 Cincinnati, OH – Northside Tavern
11/23 Baltimore, MD – Depot

Vektor Premiere New Song “Pteropticon”

Vektor have premiered a new song titled “Pteropticon,” via Metal Hammer. This song is from the band’s new album, Terminal Redux, which will be released on Friday (May 6).

David DiSanto said the following;

“Deep in space and far in the future, an elite squadron of Reapers, dubbed ‘Pteropticon‘, descends upon an unsuspecting, alien world. The prefix, Pter, means wing. An Opticon is the inner part of the optic lobes in an insect brain. Put them together and you get an all-seeing force that patrols worlds from the sky. This track is a full-force, thrash attack from start to finish. We really hope you like it!”