“I consider myself an outspoken person, but this past summer, I held my tongue.
In February of 2022, I was contacted to audition for Dogma. Only an unreleased music video for Father I have Sinned existed, but I was hooked. I had one week to leam the solos of My First Peak and The Dark Messiah, which wasn’t too demanding except for the fact I had sliced my finger open and had fresh stitches. Nonetheless, I wanted this opportunity, so I layered on band aids and practiced.
On the day of my 25th birthday, I was told I had made the cut. It all felt right. I had been on a social media tear, meticulously creating content and tracking my steady growth. I figured my efforts were finally paying off.
One week later, I was flown out to Uruguay where I met the other girls, and we filmed Forbidden Zone and My First Peak. Getting along with the other girls was easy and natural. That week, the music video of Father I Have Sinned was released and we spent the night together celebrating.
Our singer departed from the project officially a few months later and I was crushed. I was told by management she departed for personal issues. I wanted to respect her privacy, so I did not pry.
A few months later, the album was finished and I set to work learning the parts. Meanwhile, the contract was finally sent to me. I discussed the pay with friends. For an unknown metal band without a finished album released, it was a little low.. The contract stated I needed management’s permission to quit. I amended this part.
In September 2023, I went down to Argentina to film Carnal Liberation and Made her Mine, this time, with a completely new line up. To my knowledge, the other girls had left due to life changes. Over the last year and a half, I had regular communication with management and I thought we were friends. Looking back, it was all a ruse: put on a good face to keep the one remaining member while focusing on replacing everyone else.
In November, 2023, the album was released and now the only thing left was to go on tour, which I wanted more than anything. I got my wish in June 2024. Dogma’s first tour. New singer, new guitarist, but that didn’t matter to me. I was just excited to finally take that next step.
The tour began exposing management for the truth.
I came home broken. I sprained my ankle in the middle of a show in Uruguay. When I left the stage to put on my crown for the Carnal Liberation solo, someone had removed the ramp and I fell. I duct taped my ankle to finish that tour. My knees were bruised from the way my weight was distributed from wearing heels. When I asked to wear boots with a shorter heel to protect my knees, management told me no because I would look too short next to Rusalka. My whole body was tense from all of the emotional turmoil I had endured.
A lot of people asked me why I didn’t cut my losses and leave. I had invested so many years, so many hours of practice, and given so much of myself into creating Lamia. I wasn’t ready to walk away. And most importantly, I didn’t want anyone to be able to take my dream away from me. I would be the one to decide when I was done, not anyone else.
We went on our US tour in November 2024. I took a completely different approach to this tour: mind my business. Outside of playing, soundchecks, and meet and greets, I kept to myself, quietly reading in my bunk. Despite this, treatment from management only got worse. Management would not prioritize purchasing food. I eventually WALKED to Walmart to purchase the necessary food for the band and crew for the next month with my own money.
March 2025 rolled around and I was contacted about doing a TWO month tour across Europe and Latin America. I had just started a new job, so I initially turned down the invitation. I was not the only one. I had previously been under the impression that we were the band, and if we were unable to tour, then the tour could not happen. Nope. That’s when we learned we had no say on whether or not the tour happened. We were only asked if we were going.
Management manipulated me into the tour, telling me everyone said yes. If I wanted to play the Summer Europe tour, I had to say yes to this one because once I was out, I was out for good.
Two weeks into the April tour, I knew I wasn’t coming back. I was playing shows every night, and then working my other job until 3am. No amount of “keeping to myself stopped management from picking fights with me. If I had a stable income, management could not control me.
Management kept instigating fights about my work schedule.. I was asked how I was compensating his company for the lost money from missing a meet and greet. I do those for free. How am I being compensated for the paid work I’m missing to play shows? On my days off from tour, I had to go out for interviews. I normally love interviews, but not when management writes pages of AI word salad I’m supposed to follow. I was never compensated for these.
When we played Chile, Grace faced a host of technical issues. Directly after the show, we were all yelled at for nearly an hour. When I pointed out yelling was unprofessional, Management responded by saying I was unprofessional and projecting, because no other manager would put up with our shoddy job.
We got into another fight with management because he wanted us to play the full album on a radio show for free, saying we were a family and should help each other out. That fight lasted almost 2 hours. Another manipulation tactic: wear down your opponent.
In Brazil, we did not receive any daysheets. Management specifically forbade the Brazilian tour manager from sending them to us. This was another ploy to control us. If we didn’t know the times of our schedule, we could not have any independence.
Touring was my dream, but it wasn’t worth this level of stress and mistreatment. For my health, I had to take a step back. The entire summer, I dreamt I kept trying to tell my story, and no one cared. I had to come to terms with the fact that I had been exploited for years.
Why didn’t I say anything sooner? I knew if all of this started coming out during the Summer tour, management would take his anger out on the band. I waited until the time was right. That time is now.
Since speaking out, I feel like myself again and in doing so, I’ve reclaimed my connection to music. Never let anyone silence you. Your voice matters.”
Metal Anarchy 
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