Zeal & Ardor’s Mia Rafaela Dieu has been diagnosed with a stomach disease called Gastroparesis. The illness has caused the bassist to miss the band’s recent touring.
“We‘ve been privileged to meet a lot of you lovely and supporting people in person during the last year. in the many conversations we had, a lot of you asked about @mia_moustache and her wellbeing.
for a while we didn‘t really have a fitting answer to that question as she herself had to figure out what was happening with her health and it took her many months to get a proper medical answer.
we now know that she has got a debilitating illness called Gastroparesis which means that her stomach is paralyzed and can‘t digest food properly. this results in extreme abdominal pain, sickness and fatigue amongst other symptoms that unabled her to play most shows in 2019.
she is currently figuring out how to deal with everything since it is a chronical illness that is really hard to treat and the course of it is unpredictable.
But we know that she is fighting everyday and doing everything she can to get back on track. But for now it is not possible to say how long it will take until she can play live shows again.
We hope that we can be part on the way to get her power back!…”
“So here it is, the last day of 2019…a year that challenged me bigtime and showed me anew that there are some things we just can’t control.
Since I know some of you are wondering why I haven’t been playing shows with Zeal&Ardor over the last months- here is the simple answer. I was just not able to. My body went offline and kept me down – and still does until today. I’m not writing my situation openly because I seek pity, but rather for the understanding and clarity of everyone involved or affected.
So this year I got diagnosed with a debilitating sickness called Gastroparesis, which in my case is caused by Ehlers-Danlos syndrome. Gastroparesis is a motility disorder of the stomach, that literally translates to „paralyzed stomach“. It means that the stomach fails to digest food and empty the way it should. Both are clinically incurable chronic diseases with unpredictable courses, and they bring many manifestations in the body. For me, they mainly express with heavy nausea, massive abdominal pain, vomiting, malnutrition challenges, fatigue, migraines and other funny things who are joining the party.
I’ve spent most of this year’s time visiting Docs, having weird medical examinations, encountering very dark places in my body and mind, and having a 3-month stay in a clinic to try to get it all together. It takes a lot of trial & error & patience, to this day there are not really effective treatments or known cures for this deseases. Nobody knows what the future will bring or what my healing journey will look like. So for the people who ask me are you STILL sick?! Yes I am. I wish nothing more than to not be, and maybe I also will be for some ongoing time, who knows.”
“All of this has put a screeching halt to everything in my life, including being able to tour or play any live shows after spring. It forced me to sadly and with a heavy heart cancel most tour dates with Zeal & Ardor in 2019. Right now I don’t know when I will be able to get back to touring or playing live shows. On some days it just feels like my body is trying to keep me down and take away the life I’ve built up for the past 15 years with a lot of hard work, conviction and all my heart and belief.
This is beyond not easy to accept or understand, and leads very fast into a black downward spiral of darkness and despair. But I’m trying to face it everyday and put all my energy towards hope and finding the power to endure everything it takes to get my life back, sooner or later.
Since I have a more or less invisible illness, you might see me and think I don’t look terribly sick, as I will not always look like the walking dead. You’ll probably only see me on my good days, having a drink with friends, laughing and appearing quite normal. But this illness is a 24/7 job I didn’t choose. The intensitiy of the symptoms vary extremely from day to day, and even hour to hour without a logical pattern.
There are days that I feel pretty good, and suddenly some hours or a day later this sickness will pull me down to where I’m not able to eat or leave my bed, and am left wishing that somebody could just cut out my gut and stop this nightmare. Luckily I was born a fighter, so I’m convinced that sooner or later I will find my way out of this mess, and I’m doing everything to retain my strong will, my strength and my light.”
“Through all this, I can call myself extremely lucky to have a support system of amazing friends who are bringing me strength, hope and deep conversations to get through all of this every day. I am beyond grateful to have the love of my life and rock in this storm standing beside me with neverending love and support. His encouragement motivates me to find a way out of this fog, hold on to the better days, keep getting out of the house and seeing the humor in things. This support adds tremendously to what keeps me from letting this disease drain my life and my strength.
I want to deeply thank @zealandardor , Radicalis GmbH ,AlyoshA and everyone involved for being so very understanding about this situation and not giving up on me. I really don’t know where I would be without every single one of you, your active support, and all your trust.
I am working every day towards getting back on stage to rock the shit out – I miss it too much, believe me.
Thank you for reading and not sending flowers.
Love, Mia 🖤 (In the meantime I will continue cuddling my Bass and be as productive as possible in my home -holding on to music which Im sure about will save my life once again.)
TL;DR You haven’t seen me because I’m fucking sick, genetic disorder, working on it, peace!”