Lingua Ignota Opens Up About Her Abuse Allegations Against Daughters’ Alexis Marshall

Kristin Hayter, aka Lingua Ignota, has opened up about her abuse allegations against Alexis Marshall. She says the Daughters vocalist put her through “mental and emotional abuse and sexual abuse resulting in bodily harm.”

Hayter told “The Needle Drop” the following [via The PRP]:

“The truth. I wanted the truth. I wrote the record about this experience. That’s what it’s about. That’s the document, for me. And, you know I was in an abusive relationship with this man for two years. I was emotionally abused. I was mentally abused. I was sexually abused. One incident of sexual abuse led to me needing surgery on my spine, which my fans helped me pay for.

And to my fans, I want to say like thank you because you didn’t know that you were helping me in that way. And you did. And there’s a lot more I could say about the situation, but for now, I’m trying to heal and trying to process a lot of trauma. It’s not easy. I left that situation. Like a fucking hole in the floor. I was nothing. I’d been reduced to like, essentially servitude of this person, who didn’t care about me. And yeah, I am just trying to heal, and it’s important to me that the truth is out there, and that my truth is out there. Because unfortunately, this behavior predates me by quite a bit. And it’s not just me…”

She later added:

“…I couldn’t say what happened… it’s been brutal. And it’s been brutal to like pretend that I’m happy, when I’m not, and to put on a happy public face when I’m not happy, and when I’m being devalued, in so many different ways. And it’s not to say that I’m a saint, or like a paragon of virtue. But I didn’t deserve to be abused by this person. And he’s going to do what he’s going to do, but I have to focus on myself and my healing. And, you know, I think at some point I will speak in greater detail about it, but it has to be when I have processed what’s going on. There’s been a lot, you know, as you saw, like, my statement is 7000 words.”

She continued when asked what closure would look like:

“It’s so tricky. I mean, how do we deal with these situations? How do we culturally deal with this shit? It’s impossible. It’s it’s a no-win situation kind of any way you look at it. It’s not about canceling someone’s banned. It’s not about asking anyone to not listen to Daughters or, you know? It’s about this person’s behavior is unacceptable and what do we do about it? You know, I can’t control Alexis. I don’t have any control over him.

I don’t have any control over anything except myself and my own healing. So while accountability would be nice, I can’t expect it. I can’t put my healing on hold, waiting for that. Initially, I thought I did. I thought I required you know, an apology. But you’re not going to get it, you know. So ideally, there would be change in the way that we deal with these situations and there would be change in people’s behavior. And there would be change in the way that we approach our communities and the ways in which we keep women safe in our communities and vulnerable people safe in our communities and abuses of power in our communities.

Ideally like that would be something constructive would come from something like this, and I’m hoping to find a way to help support other survivors and that is more concrete than just having the cathartic outlet of the music. I’d like to find something. So I don’t know. It’s all you know, the world we live in is kind of fucked. And dealing with this stuff in a public forum is incredibly difficult. It’s not an it’s not fun for me to like, come up here. And say this and then expose myself to potentially further abuse and further objectification from people. I don’t know. So I don’t know. It is what it is.”

Hayter also shared a lengthier statement HERE. Here’s an excerpt from that:

“I was in an abusive relationship with Alexis Marshall from July 2019 through June 2021. I endured mental and emotional abuse and sexual abuse resulting in bodily harm. Alexis’ addiction to one-sided sex effected me in extreme ways. I was subjected to multiple sexual assaults/rapes where I was fully penetrated while sleeping without my consent, after I explicitly stated this was *not ok with me.* Alexis obtained consent through deception, manipulation, and coercion. Alexis used me for sexual gratification in situations where I was deeply uncomfortable but consented because I was terrified he would cheat on me or get upset if I didn’t do what he wanted. In one incident of objectifying, violent sex, Alexis caused a severe injury to my spine and did not stop when I told him I was hurt. This injury resulted in debilitating pain and physical incapacitation for months. I needed surgery to treat this injury, a massive lumbar disc herniation that created an emergency condition called Cauda Equina Syndrome, which threatened permanent loss of bladder and bowel function. Alexis continued to require constant sexual attention even though I was severely injured. I needed his support for the surgery but Alexis abandoned me 24 hours before my procedure. Alexis cheated on me emotionally and physically throughout our relationship and triangulated me with other sexual partners as a way to confuse, humiliate, and destabilize me. He always denied his behavior, and gaslit me when confronted with irrefutable proof.

Alexis sustained patterns of lying and manipulation to excuse his behavior; he blame-shifted, minimized, denied, and provoked me so that he could call me aggressive and crazy. He used my past of domestic violence against me to claim what he was doing wasn’t that bad because it was not physical battering. He was jealous and resentful of my professional relationships and isolated me from friends. He took advantage of me financially. He blamed me for everything that was wrong in his life.

His abusive behavior continued and in some ways worsened after he completed rehab for sex addiction and started working a twelve-step program. He lied about the terms of his recovery. He weaponized his recovery against me and blamed me for not being able to get well.

As a result of his ongoing abuse I attempted suicide in December 2020 in the basement of our home. Alexis’ response to my suicide attempt was cold and unfeeling. Meanwhile, Alexis used threats of suicide and self-harm to manipulate me often, such as when I told him I needed to cut contact with him for my own well-being, or when I confronted him about lying.

After our breakup, I learned about Alexis’ long history of predatory and abusive/exploitative behavior towards women, for which he is well-known in certain areas, and which has been corroborated by multiple people including a long-term ex-partner. These incidents range from sexual misconduct and sexual relationships with subordinates at work, sexual harassment, ultimatums, and sexual assault. Multiple peers and women performers have spoken to me about uncomfortable experiences with him. Alexis establishes trust with vulnerable women and then exploits them sexually. I learned that this behavior continued throughout our relationship and after he entered recovery.

As a result of this relationship my quality of life decreased significantly. I suffered enormous psychological and physical damage. I continue to do physical therapy to treat ongoing issues with my spine and am in intensive therapy.”

For his part, Marshall denied the allegations in a statement that was sent to Pitchfork:

“I absolutely did not engage in any form of abusive behavior towards Kristin. Kristin is a person that I loved and cared deeply for, however, our relationship was unhealthy for both of us. I can assure anyone reading this that I absolutely did not abuse her, mentally or physically. I am investigating legal options.”

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