Metal Anarchy

As previously reported, As I Lay Dying frontman Tim Lambesis recently made headlines after trying to dismiss accusations of abuse, infidelity, etc. made by his ex-wife Dany Ciara. However, Ciara has since responded, saying she is “speaking now because [he] refuse[d] to stop lying and pretending [he] didn’t abuse [her].”

Ciara said the following:

“Hey @timlambesis

First, the claim that you “stayed quiet” about your personal life this whole time is actually crazy. This entire last year, you have publicly slandered and lied about what happened during our marriage on Instagram and Facebook portraying yourself as the victim, accusing me of many untrue things, that directly involved me, lying and rewriting the story to salvage your image.

Second, framing my speaking now as “timing” “fixation” or “attachment” is a deflection. Attacking motive is a common way of yours to avoid engaging with substance. You’re talking about WHEN I spoke and WHY you think I spoke, but youre not actually addressing what I said. Survivors of abuse do not lose the right to tell the truth because time has passed, because the other person’s career has momentum, or because it’s inconvenient. Abuse doesn’t become “old stories” because the person who caused harm wants it buried. Sorry.

This has nothing to do with your career, your momentum, or your touring schedule. I’m speaking now because you refuse to stop lying and pretending you didn’t abuse me. I finally feel strong enough to tell the truth without fear of intimidation or silencing. Framing my speaking out around your Russian tours is manipulative and it doesn’t erase what happened or what you did.

You keep saying ” context matters”

On October 10th I texted you after seeing many of your public comments, and I called you out for your lies, suggesting that we both come forward with the truth, “l show all the evidence from my side, you show all the evidence for your side.” YOU REFUSED. Why is that? Should I show the context of everything that I talked about, and everything I didn’t talk about?

I did not “break the silence”. I spoke after many of your public statements about me had already been made. When you say “context matters” you use that word as a shield while continuing to avoid specifics. If context truly mattered to you, you would address concrete behaviors rather than implying my obsession, dishonesty, or opportunism.

“if anything illegal had happened, it would have been addressed through proper channels”?
The idea that something isn’t real unless it’s prosecuted is crazy . Most abuse never goes through the legal system, and that doesn’t erase it. Many survivors never report abuse due to fear, coercion, financial control, retaliation, or safety concerns. A lack of prosecution is not proof of innocence, and it is not a reflection of lived experience.

what exactly are you referring to that is so-called “illegal”? The screenshots of you having possession of illegal Al prnogrphy including a minor, are literally on the podcast, there’s proof of the context right there for you. Just because it wasn’t reported and you weren’t prosecuted doesn’t mean that it didn’t happen. Everything I talked about on the podcast I have proof for. Like I said. I am allowed to talk about the horrific shit that you did.

It’s also deeply hypocritical to suggest that my relationship history somehow discredits my credibility while ignoring your own. You are on your third marriage. You were convicted for attempting to have your first wife killed. You cheated on and abused your second wife. And despite all of that, you expect people to believe that any pattern worth scrutinizing belongs only to me.

Invoking my past relationships is not context. You’re deflecting.

And it doesn’t negate a single thing I actually said about YOU.

I’m aware of the scrutiny around why I married you given your history. I own my part in that. I wasn’t thinking clearly, I wasn’t healed, and I made decisions from a damaged place. That’s something I’ve been honest with myself about. What I won’t accept is the idea that my flaws somehow erase the abuse you inflicted. What is dishonest is using past relationship to imply that all of my experiences must be fabricated, in exaggerated or opportunistic. Multiple things can be true at the same time. I can acknowledge my own patterns and still be telling the truth about what happened in our relationship.

I go into great detail on the podcast about how I’ve spent the last year reflecting on myself and my own patterns of why I continue to gravitate towards toxic relationships, I never once claimed I am a perfect victim and I never once claimed that I have not been a part of that. But once again, that does not negate the abuse that you put me through. Minimizing me talking about abuse you put me through as “noise” or to me as someone who “attached” myself to you, is another pathetic attempt to shame me speaking into silence.

I am not attaching myself to you. I am telling my story.

I existed before you, and I exist after you. You don’t get to decide when I’m allowed to speak about what happened to me. You don’t get to reframe my truth as a nuisance to your career. Your work and music does not get veto power over my voice. I spoke honestly about my experience. I’m not asking for permission, validation, or approval. I’m correcting the record and reclaiming my narrative after too much of your public distortion and lies. I’m not going to back down to you, and you’re not going to shame me into silence.”