Metal Anarchy’s New Music Showcase: Exclusive Q&A With Crejuvent

Time for the next edition of Metal Anarchy’s “new music showcase,” the feature where I introduce you to up and coming bands that readers of this site may find interesting. This time I have an exclusive Q&A with one-man metal band Crejuvent.

METAL ANARCHY: Tell me a little bit about your band:

CREJUVENT: Crejuvent is my half-assed attempt at receiving validation from a bunch of people I’ll probably never meet and who don’t REALLY give a shit. The music is heavy, weird, and a metaphor for life through the eyes of an clinically cynical egoist. And toilet humor.

METAL ANARCHY: Who are your main influences?

CREJUVENT: I’d say primarily bands like Strapping Young Lad, Obscura, Type O Negative, Opeth, Steven Wilson, and the like. Musically, anyways. There’s this homeless dude that hangs about on my street that has been a huge influence on me, what with all the drugs he sells me and whatnot. Can’t write good metal without a heavy dose of detachment from reality.

Man, sarcasm is really hard to replicate through text…

METAL ANARCHY: What is your latest release and why should readers of this site check it out?

CREJUVENT: Crejuvent’s coming out with its debut ‘Time’ EP on the 1st of July. This letter details why your readers should check it out:

DEAR READERS OF METAL ANARCHY,

Have YOU ever looked up to the stars and wondered what the meaning of life is? Pondered upon what could be if there was only more to life? Have you ever felt frustrated at the empty feeling that your life just doesn’t quite seem complete? Have you ever wondered if it’s possible to be sexually aroused by a wall of screeching distortion and the screams of a constantly and existentially confused individual? WELL WONDER NO MORE! The answer to all of those questions AND MORE can be found within the soothing melodies of Crejuvent’s upcoming EP ‘Time’! I’ve seen it resuscitate a sea of dying bees, and it can do the same to your empty shell of a life. But don’t just take MY word for it, have a listen for yourself! The best part is, you have ABSOLUTELY NO EXCUSE to not listen to this masterpiece, as it will be available on every freaking streaming/download/metaphysical medium you can possibly imagine! WHOOOOOAAAAA!! So get on out, and go outside and, like, buy the shit!

Seriously, if that doesn’t entice people to check it out then nothing will.

METAL ANARCHY: What can people expect when they go to your live shows?

CREJUVENT: A severe lack of women

METAL ANARCHY: Where do you see your band heading in 5 years?

CREJUVENT: Let me just consult my crystal ball here…

I see a giant mansion. Covered entirely in gold. Millions of record sales worldwide, an endless array of topless women…and some men. I see the highest selling extreme metal band of all time, and the love and devotion of countless fans worldwide.

Then I see Crejuvent, in a stage at a dingy little pub in the middle of butt-fuck nowhere with about 3 album sales in the past 5 years. Little do I know I’ll die about a year later of party/poverty induced complications, and there’ll be like 10 people at least who will discover the musical genius that could have been.

Thanks for the interview, this was fun!

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